A Lesson in Friendship

It’s no secret, I like different and I would love to start a new and unpopular way of thinking that praises the vast differences of the human race. I would love to think we could be a world where people would truly learn to love blindly. I want to share a story with you about my son with special needs and how he might know the very best way to love.

I normally would not go into a debate about social issues and I do not want to with this post. I only want this story to be one to ponder the next time you see strife over various differences in our country.

I believe I have the freedom to believe and the free will to choose my own personal convictions. I also respect the beliefs of others and their freedom to choose their own convictions. That is what our country is all about, right? Freedom? The problem is the inability people have to respect the differences we are all allotted. It can also be difficult to find a middle ground that satisfies an infinite number of beliefs. Here is something that could make the conflict a bit easier to swallow; if your opinions or beliefs differ from another, you have the option to choose kindness. It isn’t likely the debates and arguments will ever end and we will not likely satisfy the millions of varying beliefs, but we can always choose to be kind.

Kindness is something I didn’t have to teach my disabled son. He cares nothing about the differences everyone else is fighting about and he most likely will never fully understand the complex moral debates that have been going on for decades, he’s just nice. He knows how to make friends even though he can’t communicate like a typical child. He calls everyone he knows his friend. Here is a story about my little boy making a new friend.

Last week my aunt came in from Arizona. It has been a long time since she has returned home for a visit and this time she didn’t come home alone. My aunt is gay and she came with her wife. It is the first time we met the woman she has devoted her life to. I hope they enjoyed their time with family. We played games, sat around a campfire, and ate lots of food. My aunt’s wife also made a friend, my seven year old disabled son. She didn’t flinch when he brought her his iPad and wanted her to play. He was rather insistent but she didn’t seem to mind. She sat and played, talked, and made funny videos with him as long as he wanted. He didn’t care that she was new to the family, he could care less about how she dressed or who she married, he liked her for who she was and she liked him the same. She may have noticed that he was different but she didn’t withdrawal from him any of the numerous times he wanted her attention.

To understand this mother’s joy over this event is to know that I understand that it can be hard for some people to interact with my son. He doesn’t always ask to play and he often uses in your face tactics to engage playtime. I understand he can make someone who doesn’t know him very well uncomfortable. But what I saw was a new friendship between two strangers that could have been mistaken for one of life long friends. These two friends really liked each other and no amount of difference between them mattered.

The day after my son met his new friend, he sat with his iPad and watched the videos they made together numerous times. He even remembered her name. After he had his fill of videos, he stood at the door and asked to go to grandma’s house because that is where his new friend was staying.

Those two saw each other as each one of us should see each other, potential life long friends. Their friendship is blind, as it should be. Too bad too many people miss out on a great friendship because of differences. It’s a shame many can’t stand by their own personal beliefs while still embracing those who oppose them. The debate isn’t about beliefs, it about the condition of the heart. My little boy calls those who treat him with kindness friends, it’s that simple. Maybe this friendship has more to teach us than we know.

*d*

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One thought on “A Lesson in Friendship

  1. It touched my heart and tears flowed from how she put it together. My niece is a super woman about so many things and a writer and mother is just some of the things she does. There are so many other things she does, but she is a fighter for so many things she has to do with all she has been faced with and I am so proud of her.

    Liked by 1 person

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