The following is the talk I gave at church last Sunday. The pastor had a sermon on joy and he asked me to share something. I am so thankful for the opportunity. I hope I will be able to do so again.
When is the last time you have been uncomfrotable in the passanger seat? Maybe it was with someone who had the worst sense of direction or instantly gets upset the moment they miss a turn or gets lost. I usually don’t mind the passenger seat of a car but I do not like to be the passenger on a plane. In either scenario I don’t have full control but at least in the car, I can possibly help navigate the driver and myself back to where we need to be, unlike the airplane in which all my trust is supposed to be in the pilot. If he gets lost or a problem occurs, I have no choice but to hang on and pray we get back on the ground. In the last few years I have felt like a passenger on a haphazard plane ride.
You see, ten years ago my husband and I set off for this fantastic journey of married life. We were so excited. We made plans to see and do all kinds of wonderful things but it didn’t take long for us to wonder if our pilot got lost. We took detours through infertility, postpartum depression, and incurable disease, twice. I was pretty patient with all the non-scheduled stops but I eventually became anxious. I had never been to places like this before and I had no idea, and obviously no say, in where I was going.
It was during our first detour when we felt we were on a flight plan that couldn’t have been meant for our life so we prayed, “Dear Lord please help this seriously lost pilot find his way and put our lives back to where we think it belongs.” We were elated and thankful when He answered our prayers and we had our first child but shortly after his birth I had complications. We both became fearful when we realized we were again lost. It was around this time we were also realizing prayer was becoming a valuable compass in our journey and we became to appreciate the way in which God guided us. He were drawing closer to our navigator and we were experiencing a new kind of happiness.
Seven years ago my husband and I took the biggest and most frightening detour of our marriage. Our infant son was diagnosed with a rare and incurable disease. We never anticipated that our flight plan would go this far off track. We were convinced we were headed in the wrong direction. We cried and pleaded with anyone who would listen. We’d be only happy if he’d be healed and we could go on living the life he and I had planned, with healthy children. We didn’t deserve to get so off course…… We once again pleaded with the Lord to help but our son was not healed. Instead God gave us the strength and wisdom to help us navigate our new surroundings but we still weren’t happy with that pilot.. Little did we know that we would experience a different kind of healing.
Then December came and I may as well have been sucked out my window. I found out that I too had an incurable disease. In the proceeding months my symptoms began to spiral out of control and so did I. I also made the decision to send fear up to the cockpit. I put all my trust in fear during this trip and it took over. I handed fear the controls to my life and I blamed God for it. I was tired of this kind of trip and I wanted off. Whoever thought giving an incurable disease to a mother of a special needs child obviously had no idea what my life was all about. I NEEDED to get better and I wasn’t getting what I wanted fast enough through prayer, negotiations, or hard work so I decided to have words with the pilot myself. Who in the world was driving my life into oblivion? I stood my ground and went right to the source. It wasn’t fear sitting in the cockpit, it was Christ. The whole time.
My life wasn’t going off course at all, this is where my life was meant to go and Jesus remained at the controls. Only in my desperation was I was ready to see Him and that was when I had the “Oh….. Oohhhh…..” moment. Every time I complained about the journey of my life, I was complaining about Him, every time I stomped my feet and said I knew better, I was claiming to know better than the Lord of the Universe, and what do you think happened each time I sent fear up to the cockpit to take over the job only meant for Him? Jesus remained steadfast until I realized who was really in control. You see fear never really had a chance because I put my trust in Him a long time ago, the only thing I managed to do is invite myself to an additional needless journey with fear. My doubt made me rely on other things that could never get me where I needed to go. Although I thought I knew what was best for me, He knows me better. You see, without the detours in my life, I’d have nothing special to share with you today. He planned, navigated and piloted my journey so He would have the glory and I would always reach joy. Let me repeat that, He wants us to always reach joy. That is His plan for you, to reach joy no matter how off course you think you are. He doesn’t need your guidance to give you joy but it helps when you let him have the control. My moment came when I finally heard Him say, “be obedient, I’ve got this.”
My life has veered in directions I would never have anticipated ten years ago but it has been more joyful than I ever could have imagined, and yes, that is despite of those times of trouble. It is in those times of difficulty when He does His best work in me. He wants to do the same for you. No doubt He wants to do all he can to bring you to joy, He has already done so much to win your heart.